Monday, October 3, 2011

I'm Sorry

Over the last few days the phase "I'm Sorry" has been heavy in my thoughts. The realization has come to me that no other phase in our language can carry as much weight or be as meaningless as the two words "I'm sorry."   I often hear sorrow in a child's voice, and in their use of the phase there can be no doubt about their truthfulness. The same can also be true when "I'm sorry" comes from the lips of an adult, but its not the honesty of the words that I wish to  dwell on. It is the duality of the axiom's urgency  that interest me.

It is a given that from time to time we are going to do something that hurts someone that we care about. I have found that most often the things we do that hurt our most treasured relationships the most are not done out of spite, malice, or intent. However, intentional or not, once a deed is done, and can't be taken back, and you can see or hear someone's heart break... I'm sorry it the easiest word in our dictionary to use.The great trap here is that in this context "I'm sorry" becomes empty and meaningless for not only the person on the receiving end, but also to the party that utters the words. I have struggled to find words that can fill the void after committing a hurtful act, the truth is though, that no words, no matter how well stated, will ever bridge this gap between two people. Yet there are times that, even though you might be willing to climb Everest to make things better,  words are the only tools available. At times like this I'm forced to wonder does time really heal all wounds? Maybe only time will tell

There is a song by Sarah Darling  "Sorry seems to be the hardest word" that tells the story of a  declining relationship between two lovers. I have found that often times when people fight or have disagreements, such as the song describes, the root of the dispute is a small thing. Even though, it might be a small thing that people fight about pride, or ego, or i don't know what keeps them from saying "I'm sorry." And here it is such an easy fix. By being able to make the most simple apology in the world a person can open the door to a stronger relationship, but more often that not I'm afraid the words are left unsaid. The result is nothing short of tragic, a splintered or broken relationship. The great irony of the situation is that only two words would have set the stage for redemption. The same two words that can be so meaningless in more serious situations.

I mentioned Sarah Darling in this post, if don't know her music, you should find her.


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